My Personal Reflection
I always wanted to pursue a doctoral degree but for the wrong reasons. Having served as a New York City public school teacher, elementary assistant principal, and principal, it was pretty rare to come across an educator with a doctorate. I was a principal in a district with 36 principals--not one had their doctorate. I thought the title alone would classify me as an educator of distinction and put me on the fast track in advancing my career. However, the timing was never right; I was a single parent and the principal of a very large, Title l school. The combination gave me very little time for additional studies at the advanced university level.
As time moved on and the world became a very different place after 9/11, I moved to Long Island to provide my son with a safer, more carefree environment and took a principalship in Nassau County. Working in a much smaller school, in a distinctly less stressful environment and watching my son leave for college, I revisited the idea of returning to school to earn the degree I felt would set me apart.
Since beginning the doctoral program in Interdisciplinary Studies in 2010, I have learned to approach educational issues, especially in the area of K-12 educational leadership, more thoughtfully and critically. I always viewed myself as a global thinker and problem-solver but now have a deeper understanding of how important it is to reflect and address preferred outcomes from many perspectives in order to improve upon the process of achieving desired results. I realized this was no longer about personal perception, this was about the possibility of creating real change to improve educational experiences for all stakeholders.
The process of how results are achieved is as important as the results themselves and sometimes even more so. Developing an interdisciplinary approach to problem-solving in educational leadership extends and expands the options within the process. That is not to say all decision-making must be approached from every paradigm or construct, but awareness of their impact can certainly deepen one’s perspective and influence data analysis and resolution.
These past few years, as I explored critical educational issues from many perspectives, my own experiences as an elementary principal, teacher, community member, and mother of a public school student, were not suppressed. If anything they remained at the forefront of how I deal with issues on a regular basis. Understanding the perspective of all stakeholders at all times only helps to reach decisions that are in the best interests of children. Because I experienced two different elementary principalships in very dissimilar settings, I was always curious as to why some principals are more effective than others, especially if they are supervised by the same central office administration. I held onto this thought as I entered, what I now began to view, as the world of opportunity.
September 2010
As I began my coursework in the fall of 2010, I was a little anxious but more concerned that I wouldn’t be able to keep up with my classmates since I had not taken a formal college course in 20 years and had a fairly demanding job. The use of current technology was probably my biggest fear. I had basic computer skills to effectively use a word processing program, which I learned quickly was not enough to be successful in a doctoral program.
The first two classes in the program—EDD 1003: Psychological, Sociological and Cultural Aspects of Human Development and EDD 1004: School and Community: Policies and Practices, thrust me right into the heart of my biggest fears. I felt more challenged than I had ever been. Each class required dyad and/or triad projects with formal presentations, extensive scholarly reading, individual research papers requiring perfect APA format, and a myriad of additional smaller papers and projects. It was overwhelming!
As the first couple of weeks went by, our cohort got smaller and smaller. I knew if I could get through this semester successfully and continue to run my school effectively, I could do this. I can’t ever remember a point in my life working harder to balance a new endeavor with family and career.
As the semester progressed, I began to consciously reflect on why I was in the program—Did I want to advance my career? Was I doing this to prove something to myself or someone else? Did I want to teach college courses some day? It was an awful lot of work and money to not be sure about my purpose. But then it just happened. I had been in the program about five or six weeks, and I realized I was being pushed to the maximum cognitively and intellectually. I stopped, took a deep breath, and realized I was beginning to think differently. My everyday encounters became sharper. Deeper thinking as a result of increased reflection and a renewed confidence and understanding of my capabilities ignited a spark. I didn’t think it was possible to shift my thinking so quickly. The only thing I can equate it to is when one starts boot camp and makes it through the first grueling weeks only to find new strengths one never knew possible.
I realized that this was an incredible era of educational reform—probably the most significant educational reform era in decades. What an exciting time to be a doctoral student. So much to learn and explore! As the semester ended so did the fears that consumed me when I began in September. Being a learner required an open mind and a lot of risk-taking.
January 2011
As I learned, the key to holding a doctoral degree or becoming a researcher is to learn how to collect, analyze, and interpret data in order to construct new knowledge. My first research analysis class, EDD 1005: Educational Research Methods I (qualitative approaches), began to provide a strong framework that encapsulated the content of all of the other coursework. However, prior to taking my first research methods class in qualitative inquiry, I never knew qualitative inquiry existed. My research knowledge was limited to understanding very basic statistics and interpreting graphs and charts.
Although qualitative, quantitative, and mixed-methods data collection and analysis can be employed to study phenomena in many disciplines, I quickly learned that I was drawn to qualitative inquiry, even though I had not yet taken the other two research analyses classes. The processes involved in qualitative research made sense to me.
I completed Educational Research Methods I in the spring of 2011—the second semester of my first year in the program. I have always been curious about the behaviors of living things--specifically humans and animals. Understanding the options for studying behavioral social sciences opened up a whole new level of thinking for me. It was an important realization in my growth as a doctoral student. Learning how to study what people are thinking and to make sense of it empirically—understanding attitudes, values, perceptions, and practices and how they impact reactions and outcomes was a very exciting discovery for me.
The second class I participated in that semester, EDD 1000: Pro-Seminar in the Philosophy of Science and Interdisciplinary Approaches to Educational Studies provided a strong foundation for exploring the politics of education on Long Island. As we looked deeper into the impact of finances, socioeconomic status, and regional implications for the functioning of schools in this part of the nation, it was easier to understand but still not make sense of why Nassau and Suffolk counties are among the most segregated areas in the country. Educational inequality and how it is impacted by school leadership is a growing interest of mine. As I am learning and growing through the program, I find I am gravitating toward interests that involve children who are less advantaged. I believe it comes from my experiences in New York City public schools, as a student, teacher, parent, and especially, as an administrator.
May - July 2011
By the end of the first year of the program, I had completed 18 credits in the core courses spread out over three semesters. The first 12 credits focused on writing literature reviews and coding and analyzing qualitative research. During the third or summer semester, I completed two small, qualitative studies on my own. Both summer classes—EDD 1001: Multiple Perspectives on Educational Policy Analysis and the History of Education, and EDD 1002: Organizational Theory: Approaches to Studying and Analyzing School Organizations required the collection, analysis, and interpretation of data. My study in the Educational Policy Analysis class was on stakeholders’ understanding of before and after-school programs and in the Organizational Theory class on the effects of school consolidation on teachers. Having the ability to draw some conclusions based on my small studies was fascinating to me. The entire process was difficult yet exciting. Having the tools to conduct empirical research in a manner that not only fascinated me but I thoroughly enjoyed was overwhelming. I could not believe what I had learned and accomplished in 10 months.
When I think about how insecure and unsure of myself I was in September, I was really proud of what I accomplished. I challenged myself and in the process reached new heights. With conviction in my growing capabilities, I was very excited about the upcoming fall semester when I knew I would be moving into my area of interest—educational leadership. I was confident I had the tools to move forward.
September 2011
This semester, I began my 15th year as an elementary school principal and I thought leadership was something that came fairly natural to me, but it was not something I ever thought about deeply. I considered myself a born leader and based on my career path, I knew I was pretty good at it. In EDD 1202: Perspectives on Leadership, Restructuring and Teacher Empowerment, I quickly learned that it was necessary to understand various approaches and theories to leading in order to better understand one’s abilities and style of leadership. Our class studied various leadership and empowerment theories, and I learned it was important to understand my own values and beliefs in order to better understand who I am as a leader. If done effectively, leadership doesn’t just happen, it evolves. Circumstances help determine what actions are needed to move a school forward. However, the process of making those changes is critical in how successful and sustainable those changes will be.
We explored our individual leadership styles in depth, learned the power of self-reflection, and conducted a narrative research study that had to embrace an empowerment or restructuring initiative. As an experienced school leader, I was pushed outside of my comfort zone to think and reflect deeply about myself, what was best for my organization, and the value of decisions made by other educational leaders I have known or with whom I presently work.
One of the most challenging processes for me was learning to neutralize my own biases. As the semester progressed, I learned I had strong opinions about everything usually based on my own experiences. I also eventually learned that my experiences were not everyone elses’ experiences. My experiences and biases as an administrator in New York City had minimal application to my role as a building principal in suburban Long Island. My experiences were valuable, but the culture, both politically and socio-economically, was different. I had learned to realign my thinking and shift my practices but now I had a deeper understanding of why it mattered and the influence on an entire school community—the power and significance of followers.
This class was meaningful to me because the effect of leadership is important to how I conceptualize what I do. I liked being challenged to stretch my thinking within this construct. Having not been a student for a very long time, it was a good place to put my energy. The second class this semester required me to think very differently.
EDD 1203: Seminar in Fiscal, Legal and Human Resource Issues in School Renewal and Reform balanced the Perspectives in Leadership class well. We learned how legal, business, and personnel systems function in an educational setting, the importance of understanding and applying them, and how they will change to drive current educational trends. Co-authoring a research paper, with a focus on how these three perspectives impact current reform on teacher dismissal, started to direct my thinking about the new evaluation system for principals and ultimately how it relates to student performance. Would the changes help to create better teachers or school leaders?
January 2012
This semester, my fifth in the program, was by far the most dreaded. I had to take the quantitative analysis class, EDD 1006: Educational Research Methods II. After having taken the pre-requisite Statistics Webinar three weeks prior, I was terrified. My fear of higher mathematics and overall anxiety regarding learning and retaining the language and concepts of quantitative analysis were quite challenging. I knew this was going to be so far out of my realm of understanding that I would have to devote more time than I had to succeeding in this class. The course content lived up to its reputation but the level of instructional support and number of available resources helped to alleviate some of the stress and to help me sustain some level of success and understanding.
In EDD 1201: Educational Reform: An Interdisciplinary Theoretical Perspective I learned how to think about and enact change where it is needed. The “where” is determined by the stakeholders, which spans many layers including nationally. We explored current issues in education and analyzed methods of reform to facilitate positive change. I wrote a grant to finance a comprehensive after-school program, five days a week for eight months, for 50 students who are most at-risk in my elementary school. Utilizing the strategies we explored can have minimal or maximum impact on the education of some or many.
May - June 2012
This summer semester was condensed into a seven-week period which required attendance two nights a week instead of one. EDD 1204: Public and Community Relations: Creating Environments Conducive to Educational Reform was a course that reinforced the importance of public support and how to help create it purposefully, and to share factual information in order to build and maintain it. There was a focus of the importance of relationships and how to strategically cultivate them in an educational setting. Writing press releases, school communications, and through simulations such as Board of Education presentations, we presented individual and group projects on issues that are presently in need of public support. This class gave me the opportunity to engage in thinking and learning about another perspective that is critical to my success as an educational leader.
EDD 1206: School Reform: Instructional Leadership in Pre-K-16 Settings facilitated the study and discussion of various leadership theories and practices. We used a variety of media and profiled global leaders to research and identify leadership practices and the applicability to and consequences on education today. By examining the leadership styles and practices of a number of leaders, we reflected often on actions and the respective reactions. The course lent itself to additional opportunities for personal reflection.
September 2012
As I approached the last core course, EDD 1007: Applied Research Design, and the last educational leadership class, EDD 1205: Critical Issues and Trends in Pre-K-16 Education, I was ready to use everything I learned in the last two years to begin my personal research journey.
The third of our research analyses classes, Applied Research Design provided me with an in-depth exposure to the methods and purposes of mixed-methods approaches to collecting, analyzing, and interpreting data and a deeper understanding of the purpose and processes involved when conducting a meta-analysis. Having the experience of re-conceptualizing studies to create a new meta-analysis gave me a strong appreciation for the purpose and process. I can foresee myself conducting a meta-analysis in the future.
Critical Issues and Trends in Pre-K-16 Education allowed us to revisit issues such as gender equity to discover that some things may never be resolved regardless of their history and the perception of gains that were made. Some issues will always be issues. We examined the current trends of teacher and principal performance review, the Common Core State Standards, school safety, etc. We delved deeper into the issues by reading and discussing the opinions of educational policy analyst Diane Ravitch, behaviorial social lecturer Alfie Kohn, and Harvard educator Tony Wagner. I gained deeper insight and additional perspectives on the critical issues of our time.
Understanding diverse opinions and having the ability to interpret biases have helped me to develop a more impartial lens when reading and thinking about the current trends in education.
Conclusion
Some classes had a greater impact on my doctoral experience but each contributed to the cumulative knowledge I have gained thus far. Leadership and its impact on student achievement remains my primary interest. Now that I have completed my formal coursework, I am working toward narrowing my dissertation topic in educational leadership and formulating my research questions.
As I reflect upon the last two and a half years with the understanding that I am only in the second cohort to work its way through the Doctoral Program in Interdisciplinary Educational Studies at LIU/Post, I truly feel the organization of the program contributed to my success. The cohort model allowed me to build relationships that are unique to all others. My cohort was incredibly diverse which naturally facilitated interdisciplinary perspectives and viewpoints. Everyone brought something to the table. Our class discussions were always rich yet challenging.
The support of the professors was consistent and reassuring. There was never a doubt that everyone with whom I came into contact wanted me to succeed. Professors made themselves available practically all hours of the day and night and no question was ever a bother or too simple. I was not afraid to take risks in my learning because I always felt the professors were advocating for me. My efforts always felt appreciated and there was always an understanding that I had to function effectively in my job and at home. Although, I always felt overwhelmed, a part of me knew I would not be allowed to crash and burn.
As I begin my own research journey, I am grateful to now have the tools and the freedom to create new knowledge. As a school administrator, I feel I now possess a thoroughness and thoughtfulness that did not exist before. The many reforms that are presently taking place in P-12 education are intriguing yet massive. My hope is to wrap myself around it, embrace it, and contribute in a way that can make education better for all children.
As I reflect upon the last two and a half years with the understanding that I am only in the second cohort to work its way through the Doctoral Program in Interdisciplinary Educational Studies at LIU/Post, I truly feel the organization of the program contributed to my success. The cohort model allowed me to build relationships that are unique to all others. My cohort was incredibly diverse which naturally facilitated interdisciplinary perspectives and viewpoints. Everyone brought something to the table. Our class discussions were always rich yet challenging.
The support of the professors was consistent and reassuring. There was never a doubt that everyone with whom I came into contact wanted me to succeed. Professors made themselves available practically all hours of the day and night and no question was ever a bother or too simple. I was not afraid to take risks in my learning because I always felt the professors were advocating for me. My efforts always felt appreciated and there was always an understanding that I had to function effectively in my job and at home. Although, I always felt overwhelmed, a part of me knew I would not be allowed to crash and burn.
As I begin my own research journey, I am grateful to now have the tools and the freedom to create new knowledge. As a school administrator, I feel I now possess a thoroughness and thoughtfulness that did not exist before. The many reforms that are presently taking place in P-12 education are intriguing yet massive. My hope is to wrap myself around it, embrace it, and contribute in a way that can make education better for all children.